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Eastern Family/Transcript
Before the Revolving Line of Credit Submission Reel Annie: "I'm in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Ready to help an extremely young family." ???: "Hi, we're the Easterns. I'm Kayla and I'm a stay-at-home mom." Kyle Sr.: "I'm Kyle and I'm a college student." Kayla: "I still live with my parents, Eileen and Craig, my brother Rowan, my sister Leanne, and my great-grandparents, Linda, Nancy, Margaret, Cathy, Noah, Lucas, Duncan, and Malcolm who are not yet supercentenarians." Kyle Sr.: "We have 3 children, Kyle and Jonathan who are 5, and Tess who is 3." flips off Kayla while the twins run out of the house naked Kayla: "Our children drive us crazy by fighting, shouting, misbehaving at restaurants, coloring on anywhere except for the table, tearing each other's drawings, and punching." Tess: "(bleep)!" Annie: "Oh my lord!" Kyle Sr.: "Tess also pees on things." pees on Kayla's household binder Kayla: "Oh my god! Tess! No you don't pee on that!" Kayla: "Supernanny, we need your help RIGHT this instant." Tess: "SUPERNANNY MUST FAIL, IDIOT!" Observation Begins see a house that looks like a small cabin rings the doorbell and Kyle Sr. gets the door Kayla: "Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Kayla." Kyle Sr.: "I'm Kyle." Annie: "Nice to meet you," goes up and throws a toy at Annie Kayla: "Tess, don't throw toys at people." Observation Continues Annie: "I noticed that Tess started to act up," Kayla: "Tess, time for you to go to school." ignores Kayla with no answer Kayla: "It's already 8:00. You hadn't finish your breakfast yet." gets out of her bed and hits Kayla on the face Kayla: "NO! TESS! YOU MAY NOT SMACK YOUR MOTHER ON THE FACE JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE ANGRY!" Tess: "I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL!" shows Kayla her fist with her middle finger extended Kayla: "NO! IT'S UNACCEPTABLE! YOU DO NOT FLIP MOMMY OFF! KYLE AND JONATHAN ALREADY ATE THEIR BREAKFAST AND THEY'RE GOING TO THEIR BEFORE SCHOOL ACTIVITIES!" Tess: "I don't wanna go!" Kayla: "I'm having a hard time dealing with Tess because she doesn't want to listen to me." Tess: "When I'm mad, I always hit my mommy." throws one of her Disney Princess dolls at Kayla is riding his bike to school while Eileen and Craig are taking Leanne to school in Eileen's car cut to: Jr. and Jonathan are sitting next by their friends while they're waiting for their teachers to come cut to: Kayla: "THAT'S ENOUGH! YOU'RE GOING TO GO TO TIMEOUT!" puts Tess in the Naughty Pit Tess: "MUMMY! GET LOST YOU FILTHY ANIMAL!" gets out of the Naughty Pit and pushes Kayla around the house 8:30 puts Tess in her car seat and starts driving Rules Annie: "I'm going to introduce you, Eastern Family Rules Tess: "I don't like rules." Kyle and Jonathan: "We'll make sure we will listen to mommy and daddy." Annie: "Rule number one, No swearing" Annie: "Rule number two, No punching, hitting, biting and kicking mom, dad or each other." Annie: "Rule number three, Always listen to adults." Annie: "Rule number four, Never act up in restaurants." Annie: "Rule number five, Always color on paper and never rip each others' drawings." snatches the pen from Annie and vandalizes the wall Kayla: "Tess, you need to give the pen back to Annie. If you don't you're going in to timeout." Teaching Begins Naughty Pit Annie: I would like for the parents, grandparents, Rowan, Leanne, and the great-great grandparents to discipline Tess." Annie: "This is the Naughty Pit, whenever Tess misbehaves, this is where she goes." Naughty Log Jr. throws the log at his father while Jonathan throws it at his mother Teaching Continues Annie: "This is Toy Confiscation." Discipline Naughty Pit Annie: "It wasn't long before Tess pinched Kyle," pinches Kyle Jr., causing him to cry starts crying Kyle Jr.: "MOMMY!" runs up to Kyle Jr. Kayla: "What's wrong, Kyle?" Kyle Jr. "Tess pinched me right over here." points to his private area Annie: "Kayla, I would like for you to give Tess a warning, and if she misbehaves again, then she would be in the Naughty Pit for 3 minutes." Kayla: "Tess, this is your warning," Tess: "NO!" punches Kayla Kayla: "You do not pinch others, especially any of your siblings. You're going to stay in the Naughty Pit for 3 minutes and-," bites her mother on the arm Kayla: "Ow! You may not bite me! It is not nice!" cut to: and Leanne are working on a science project together cut to: deposits Tess to the Naughty Pit and confiscates her Dora, Diego, and Barney DVDs Kayla: "The reason I took away your DVDs is because you pinched Kyle and you punched and bit me." escapes from the Naughty Pit and throws a chair at Jonathan Kayla: "6 MINUTES!" goes to the kitchen to get a frying pan and smacks Kayla on the face extremely hard with it Kayla: "OUCH! YOU DO NOT HIT ME WITH A FRYING PAN! YOU'VE JUST GOT 12 MINUTES!" goes out to her friend Tayla's house naked Kayla: "YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TAYLA'S HOUSE UNTIL YOUR TIMEOUT IS FINISHED!" rips Rowan and Leanne's science project Eileen: "What happened?" Eileen: "My granddaughter Tess can't stay in timeout." takes Tess back to the Naughty Pit and confiscates her Sofia the First doll goes out and meets a naked Tayla on the playground Craig, Annie, Kayla, Rowan, Leanne, Margaret, Nancy, Cathy, Linda, Noah, Lucas, Duncan and Malcolm and Kyle Sr. try to capture Tess Tess: "YOU ARE ALL POO-POO!" parents Kelsey and Dave pick up Tayla Kelsey: "Tayla, Tess has to stay in timeout." the great-great grandparents deposit Tess in the Naughty Pit and confiscate 8 of her toys Tess: "I HATE YOU ALL!" the adults ignores Tess's comment 9 minutes later Kayla: "Tess! Please apologize to me!" Tess: "I WON'T! AND I'M NOT GOING TO BED EARLY!" Kayla: "Yes you are!" cut to: Jr. and Jonathan are sleeping together Kyle Jr.: "Jonathan?" Jonathan: "What, Kyle?" Kyle Jr. "We can't sleep because of Tess screaming." Jonathan: "So close the door," Kyle Jr.: "I'm afraid of the dark, can I come with you?" Jonathan: "Of course." Jr. and Jonathan close the door 30 minutes later Tess: "I'M NOT SORRY! POO-POO!" Kayla: "TOO BAD! AND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TAYLA'S HOUSE TO HAVE A SLEEPOVER BECAUSE YOU WERE A BAD GIRL!" Tess: (screaming and crying at the top of her lungs) "YES!!!!!!!!!!! YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Naughty Log (Kyle Jr.) Jr. flips off Kyle Sr. Kyle Sr.: "Right! Naughty Log!" Sr. deposits Kyle Jr. in the Naughty Log and confiscates his Elmo plush Kyle Sr.: "You're in there for giving daddy the middle finger, plus your Elmo is in toy jail." Annie: "I can't believe Kyle just flipped his father off with the middle finger! It's so disgusting!" 5 minutes later Kyle Sr.: "Kyle, I want for you to owe me an apology because you gave me the middle finger." Kyle Jr. "Sorry, daddy." Naughty Log (Jonathan) Jonathan: "Kyle, can you please hit her?" Jr. hits Kayla deposits Jonathan in the Naughty Log and confiscates his Handy Manny doll 5 minutes later Jonathan: "Sorry mommy for encouraging my twin brother to hit you" Kayla: "Thank you" Eating at a Restaurant Kayla: "Tess, I would like you to finish your broccoli." Tess: "NO!" Kayla: "Yes, broccoli is good for you." eats the broccoli and spits it on Kayla's face Kayla: "Yuck! Tess, you do NOT spit food at mommy! It's very disgusting!" Kyle Sr.: "Kyle, eat your salmon." Kyle Jr.: "I DON'T WANT TO!" Kyle Sr.: "You too, Jonathan." Jonathan: "Why, daddy?" Kyle Sr.: "Because you have to eat. You need to eat so you don't starve." kids make up a fuss at the table while the other fellow people stare at the Easterns Kayla: "OK, we're going home!" Tess: "WE WANNA COME BACK!" rapidly attacks Kayla twins rapidly attacks Kyle Sr. Kyle Sr.: "I'm sorry, kids, but you were misbehaving at the restaurant." and the Easterns leave starts kicking Kayla's seat twins punch Kyle's seat Tess (to Kayla): "I HATE YOU! DUMMY!" Kyle Jr. and Jonathan (to Kyle Sr.): "WE HATE YOU, YOU UGLY DADDY!" Kayla: "Children, it's not okay to distract us. If I can't see the road while you guys cause a racket, an accident would happen." At home Kayla: "This is the FINAL restaurant we are ever going take you kids to, Tessie Susan Eastern, Kyle Theodore Eastern and Jonathan Tyler Eastern! You all just lost your Barney, Diego, and Dora DVDs for over a year, your toys are gone for half a dozen, which means SIX! You are also banned from playing with your friends for 3 months! How dare you treat the waiters like that! Tess, you stay in this pit for 3 minutes, and as for you Jonathan and Kyle, you both stay on your own Naughty Logs for 5 minutes!" The twins and Tess forfeit Kyle Jr.: "I'm sorry Mommy and Daddy, me and Jonathan won't behave bad again." Jonathan: "Yeah." Tess: "Mommy, Daddy, I am sorry for what I did. I won't do any of that again." Bye, Bye Annie Annie: "Kyle, Jonathan you're going to be good boys from now on." Kayla: "Bye!" Kyle Sr.: "See you soon!" Kyle Jr.: "Bye Annie!" Jonathan: "Bye Bye Annie!" Leanne: "Bye, Annie, Bye!" Rowan: "Bye Bye!" Eileen: "Annie, Bye Bye!" Craig: "See you anytime!" Tess: "Goodbye, Annie!" Family Update Kayla: "We're at Las Vegas, Nevada. All our kids have changed their ways." family are at [[The Eastern Family in Las Vegas|Las Vegas], Nevada] Category:Transcripts Category:Episode transcripts Category:Family Transcripts